


It's cold

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2115120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe he thought I wandered off again" There was no other explanation. He wouldn't just leave his best friend like this.<br/>"Kenma, he's-"<br/>"It's ok, he always finds me"</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's cold

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo is dead and Kenma has a hard time coping with it.
> 
> Mentions of death (obviously), anxiety and vomit (really short, and kinda not really)  
> Kenma gets really self conscious.

Kenma heard the words but they didn't make sense. _He's dead_.

He was sure they were mistaken, they had to be. People these days were terrible at communication. Someone probably just misunderstood something.  
"I'm so sorry" Why was Kenma getting the attention? This wasn't about him. He avoided their looks, hoped that they would forget about him if he just ignored them. Why wasn't Kuroo here to smile charmingly and get him out? Why was he even in a hospital instead of home in Kuroo's lap playing some stupid game ?  
Kenma suddenly felt cold without Kuroo's embrace and his knees felt weak. He leaned back a bit but there was only a cold wall to support him.  
"Maybe he thought I wandered off gain" There was no other explanation. He wouldn't just leave his best friend like this.

"Kenma, he's-"

"It's ok, he always finds me" He pushed himself away from the wall, taking steady steps towards the door but it seemed so far away; why was the hospital so big? It would probably take hours for Kuroo to find him.

Someone grabbed his arm. "He's gone" a female voice whispered.

"Yeah, I gotta find him" Why didn't they understand? Kuroo was running around looking for Kenma, he was probably worried. He'd just have to find him and everything would be ok again.

Suddenly Kenma's mother was right in front of him, her eyes and cheeks wet. "Kuroo is dead"

But Kenma shook his head, he wouldn't just leave him. Why was he being pulled into a hug? Those should be Kuroo's arms; where was he?  
Why was he leaving Kenma here, all alone? He didn't want that damn hug and their sorries; he wanted the boy with the impossible bed hair slinging an arm around his waist and kissing his forehead. He wanted to lay his head in Kuroo's lap. He wanted Kuroo here to make stupid comments, to make Kenma laugh, even if it was just inwardly. He felt a tear roll down his cheek. When did he start crying? He looked around one more time in hopes of noticing that Kuroo was right there.  
There was no such thing to notice.

 _Maybe it's just a dream_. Kenma shut his eyes, he'd just have to open them and he would wake up next to Kuroo, so close that he could hear his heart beat.  
But when he opened them there were just the white walls of the hospital corridor surrounding him. People threw pitying looks in his direction. Kuroo was nowhere to be seen. Kenma realized he would never feel his heart beat again. He's dead. It seemed too sudden, too final.  
Kenma's legs gave in. He sucked air in but it never seemed to reach his lungs. His stomach and chest felt like they were contracting, Kenma thought he was going to vomit his guts out but he didn't mind that; he wanted to purge it all out, have anything that could hurt him out, whether it was his heart or the memory of his childhood friend telling him he was amazing.

The people started talking. Kenma stared at their lips but what left them seemed to be nothing but random words. He heard his name and wanted to scream. Kuroo was gone. He was dead; he would never come back. So why were they talking about Kenma? He was nothing, never did anything remotely significant. God, he wished he would've kicked Kuroo out all those years ago, would have never allowed himself to spend so much time with him. Not only would this be much more painless but Kuroo wouldn't have wasted his time. He could have done so much better. The days they spent inside because of Kenma's anxiety, the hours Kuroo spent looking around when his boyfriend wandered off, all the times Kuroo looked at him, calmed him. He could have done better things instead of taking care of some damn anti-social nerd.

 _It should have been me._ Kenma wasn't sure whether or not he said it out loud, but the feeling of having eyes on him suggested he did.  
The room became too small, the attention too much. Kenma ran out as fast as his wobbly legs would allow him to. His pace soon became slower, his body felt too heavy and his breath was too shallow. He stopped only when he stumbled outside in some alley.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and threw a glance at it. Missed calls and messages, but Kenma didn't care; none of them could make this any better. He let the phone slip out of his hand. He didn't want it anymore. Kuroo wasted too much time staring at it over Kenma's shoulder.  
When he noticed he didn't know where he was, he panicked. He felt unable to do anything besides hug his knees and cry. Kuro wouldn't come this time.

Kenma could sit there till the sun faded and stars covered the sky but Kuro wouldn't come.

**Author's Note:**

> There aren't enough kuroken fics, especially angsty ones, so I decided to write this and make myself sad.  
> This may seem kinda ooc but a lot of people act in an unusual way when someone close to them dies, this is what I thought Kenma would act like.  
> I'm thinking about adding a second chapter that takes places a few weeks latet but idk yet.  
> Anyways, please leave comments :)


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